When I graduated last Fall I had an idea of a plan: Partners In Policymaking, committees, Council Vice-Chair, advocacy, internship with Special Olympics, reading, writing, and continuing to get everything in order in the Spring to be in a solid plan for my own strength and excitement as well as my own ideas of what I want to do: movies weekly, hiking often, music often, and my own sleep schedule being more solid. It was a dream and most of it happened. I also wanted to get my consumption of caffeine to human levels and keep my alcohol consumption to a reasonable amount and that has mostly been the case too. I have been kind of idealistic in how things happen and it has often been the case. I am constantly with friends and made some new ones this has been a solid lesson on how to treat others and ended with respect.
I guess there are lessons in this: I don't give myself enough credit. It is something I am working on and while I thought depression and anxiety would be rampant around graduation from college it has been the opposite. My depression has been so low that I am often told that I am happy and that I am a genuine, sweet, kind human. We can argue if that is the case but even though I am done with school and have a huge void of that I am filling it with so much more that my health is the healthiest of the mentals and I have continued to use medical maintenance to my fullest advantage of life and use the majority of my extra money on it while continuing to benefit to where the cost is so much less than the actual benefit even though I am spending time and money on it. I am appreciative of the changes and am probably the healthiest and happiest I have ever been.
In some ways that star turn was already there. My continual impression of what I am able to do has increased greatly and I am further passionate and dedicated to making my life better with short-lived kicks on Ketones and Shakeology. Rather than that working due to the cost and the benefits not being worth the cost, I have done Essential Oils, Acupuncture, Massage, and Chiropractor combo. It has worked great and even though I am doing chiropractor less starting July 1st I am continuing to do them all and get more Vitamin D from the sun. I am so grateful for the outdoors and am lucky to be doing more things than I wanted and listening to the still small voice and my gut when something doesn't feel right.
I guess my lessons have been many the past few years. As of June 3rd it will be 18 months since I kicked my ex-roommate out due to less than ideal situations that were abusive and it will be 15 months living in an apartment on 15th. While the safety there is sometimes sub-par I only have to do with myself and I and me while at the other one I stayed in my room most of the last several months due to safety concerns with my roommate. I have been better at advocacy and have been better learning about safety and what to do when I am stuck. It is nice that my best friend is close by but if it happens after she moves I can call my Mom anytime and I call perhaps stay somewhere with a friend. I am hopeful that people understand that I am in a better spot and while I will move next year I am also trying to be thankful at this point that I am at my funky apartment and that I have lots going for me here including the best downtown Fan Club I can get anywhere. So while I have yet to consider what the future holds much of this was in place last Fall it is a star turn that was already there I just have to continue turning the corner and the page.
No comments:
Post a Comment