Hope For Parents Of Autistic Children

The majority of my blogs have been about my own experiences and how I deal with various issues with my autism. This post, despite it's title, is not so much about that, rather an advice blog for parents with autistic children, teenagers, and adults. In it are 5 truths about people with autism, 5 ways that they can handle those truths, and 3 ideas to help with nonverbal intervention or limited verbal intervention at a young age (since by age 9-10, nonverbal or limited verbal individuals with autism don't usually grasp language).
Truths about people with autism (these are on a case by case basis, but I have found these to be true more often than not):
1) limited interests- individuals with autism, especially children with autism generally have one or two topics of interest and very few textural matters in food that they enjoy. if someone with autism exhibits this, the best thing to do is to ride this out as long as they can. A new interest will take its place in due course, and while it may be annoying to, for example, hear about the latest video game all the time, it's something that comes with the territory often.
2) touch (i.e. my mother's feast or famine theory)- individuals with autism either craves hugs and touch in that way because it makes them comfortable, or individuals with autism avoid it like the plague because they have been hurt in various ways. this is an extreme case-to-case basis and does either change over time or it doesn't. In my own life, I have changed from someone who hated to be touched as a teenager to someone who has to develop a "high-five rule" where when in doubt I give a high-five because people may not like hugs. If someone with autism is not someone who likes to be touched, don't. Touching people who hate to be touched is not nice and uncomfortable for them. If someone is on the other end of the exchange with a person with autism and they don't like to be hugged, ask them for a high-five or a wave. It can never hurt to ask, and it makes it safe to have good social boundaries. Easier said than done- I just more or less mastered this a couple of years ago.
3) acceptance- this comes in many forms. acceptance can be via humor, bluntness, or social. it can be through peers of their own and devoid of acceptance through others because individuals with autism can be so socially awkward, or individuals with autism can be accepted by people in their family and not anyone else. or if individuals with autism can be lucky, they can create mass boundaries of good networking. seeing other individuals experiences and living it, it comes and goes and sometimes doesn't get better. acceptance is something that is hard to come by sometimes for individuals with autism because of bluntness, social awkwardness, and hurt being forms of outsiders "showing love" towards them. bullying is a thing to happens as well, so if someone with autism seems cautious or betrayed, talk to them, it's probably because they are.
4) phrases from songs, movies, etc.- people with autism often get stuff stuck in their head. the problem is with this, they are more inclined to repeat it. people with autism in my view do this to start conversation, because they are trying to keep with the current times. if someone iwth autism does this, let them. it's theurapeatic, and often times people with autism don't know what to say to others.
5) poor depictions of inspiration depiction of autism in media hurts people with autism- people with autism who are portrayed in media aren't necessarily people who are the most respected, the most intellectual;, or they most independent. rather, they are people who are defined as inspirations and are often pitied by outsiders because of the ways that they are depicted and thought about by the general public seeing these movies. I have yet to see or hear about a movie where autism was depicted positively/. and I don't know how to change this I guess one way is to suggest to the theater people to start making movies depicting people with autism in a positive light rather than a negative, socially awkward light. but this still has a long ways to go..
a brief list of non-verbal interventions and one senetnce about it (since this blog is near max space)
1) electronic devices- this helps non-verbal individuals with autism because they are able to speak what is on their mind without people speaking for them and it helps them create sentences.
2) sign language- a way to teach non-verbal individuals with autism who are intelligent how to speak without having too much intervention and it can eventually teach them enough language skills to (*maybe) speak on their own terms.
3) have them do it on their own by figuring out reading, etc.- most effective way to teach a non-verbal individual to become verbal- it is old-fashioned, however, it is effective because once they speak there is no turning back.
Hope that this was helpful- stay tuned for the next blog: support me they will- the 10 "rocks" in my life who have supported me the most and will never leave me in the good times or bad.

5_)

Self-advocacy is important. It is important because I'm able to say to myself how much I'm able to do (or not do) and live it out fully. I'm able to stand up for myself when things aren't right, and I'm able to create a safe space when something is bothering me. More importantly, I'm able to share what's on my mind too- and that is often genuine and strong in the right mind of myself, though not always coinciding with society and not what is popular, there are things that I self-advocate for myself and choose to do based on votes and also opposition that is there to try to stretch it. Occasionally I am seen as kind of opinionated, but it's on things that matter. In a broader sense, I am fighting for justice. I am fighting for the community of differing abilities and the LGBTQIA community to have the rights that they have always dreamed of and still fighting and sitting in on workshops and helping the legislature and going to meetings. I am not only advocating for myself, I am advocating for a community that often times doesn't have a voice. And the community at large that doesn't have a voice needs one that is fairly unusual. Anything that can happen originally happens with an individual that has been there before or is closely linked and there is a resiliency factor to it. Being resilient is one of the biggest keys in good advocacy and the main items to where it is structured at an ideal of where it can be continuing to make an imprint as a leader in a crossfire of intersecting identities- it is a different kind of leadership than before. Tiring it is of course, but is it strengthening my life in how I live? Am I making friends from it? Am I fulfilling my calling as a leader? In all of these, the answer is a resounding "yes" and as someone who can advocate for myself, this structure of self-determination helps me keep strength and carrying on with my life forward and change thousands of lives in the area and then go big. Moving stones is an important step- I just have to be willing to strengthen it. Stay tuned for next weeks blog: advice for parents with autism.