Do The Last Two Summers Compare?

After processing through Seattle and Portland and my internship and heavy responsibility at the Self-Advocacy conference (I did everything from moderator to T.A. to ambassador to speaking) and my smaller trips (Idaho City, Melba for the 4th of July, Caldwell, and a few internship trips, one to Emmett, one to Kuna, and a couple to Meridian), and do church events (Pride Festival, Vacation Bible School) and working two other jobs and doubles galore (self-direction and Albertson's as well) and also making time to hang out with cool new friends (Kristi and Sarah), get to have conversations with my supervisor and be on a committee and in a board meeting, hang out with old roommates (my friends from the group home), long-time friends (Jenna, Tiffany, Tyler, Kelli, Lindsey, Carly, Bobby, Tom, Zack, Ivy, Corey, and the list goes on), and try a few new sports (dragonboating, quadcycling), go to an exciting baseball game and an exciting soccer game, and do some workout doubles of PiYo and Abs, I did a lot this summer. It was a summer of work and play to the core and while I worked two jobs and an internship and was on a committee, I was able to balance the play. Last summer was almost exclusively work. I did little play beyond exercising as I worked two jobs (three if you count moving) for a good deal of the summer and engaged in a delicate subject called Math, which I managed to get an A in, then went to a conference. I did read a lot both summers as well, but with that being my main form of play in 2012 as well as exercise and with 2013 the play being coffee hangouts both alone and with people and meals out as well as exercise and reading and a long and short vacation as well and conferences and cooking projects as play/work both summers, the answer is a resounding "no you can't compare summers". you see last summer was different if for no other reason than I started over with everything right after winning a gold medal in basketball (my last ever in that sport) and dancing two long session in a day. It was mid-summer school term and I switched living situations upside-down- I dropped my agency and went on the waiver service and in the summer probably spent way more time outside of the home studying and conferencing and exercising than in the home. Everything about self-direction was foreign, the one-on-one attention for a brief time, the investment to do fun extracurricular activities, the almost unlimited transport, the amazing amount of care by people who cared about my well-being, the help with schoolwork, and I was driven to succeed after a month but needed time to work through it, because on top of that, I was the boss of the operation, a private agency manager of sorts. This summer, I had a year of that under my belt and as such was able to make amazing decisions and was able to balance the internship with two jobs, fun, and go on long and short vacations, though the long one had to wait to summer's end. The only things similar is that both summers I read an exorbitant amount of books (30 last summer and close to that this summer, not counting my Math text), and that my cooking and decision-making about budgeting got better and better as the summer went along. The summer of 2012 I did a few things with friends, however most of the items were work. This summer was a step in the direction of being even more independent and a direction for myself and truly balancing work and play to the core. This summer I gained a lot and learned so much that it is unbearable to think that if I didn't do all the things I did, appointments and workshop included, that I would've had the best experience possible. Summer of 2012 I was intensely working and I ended up being exhausted and it showed the first week or two of school when I had trouble with organization, however rallied to get a 3.65 in upper-division classes. With that as history for the fall and with this summer being more independent and slightly less exhausting, the people at Dutch Brothers are right, I'm most likely going to do extremely well this term, especially since I have experience with two professors already. As far the comparisons beyond that, there is none. The play that summer is a full-length audible complete with a full-length audible of work, and last summer, the play was limited to a half-length audible or a bit more and the work was overflowing. And besides, you can't compare the summers, they are different and stand on their own.

Double-Edged Words

My last blog only got 14 views, but it had the potential of being a PR nightmare. So do the pictures on my Facebook of Special Olympics of me having purple hair and of me being over-the-top extroverted from there, but I am dealing with the blog loss now to prevent damage control later and I'll deal with the Facebook picture cleansing later. My apologies to those offended and my apologies to those who would've looked at it later. I dealt with it and my hair-raising photos will be taken down later. Without further adieu, 4 words and a set of words that have a double-edge and examples of why that is:
special: I still cringe at this word. I guess it's due to my background living in the group home, in conferences, and being in leadership and gender studies classes. Special can be an ableistic term if used incorrectly, but people who use it this way aren't worth people's time or energy. I should try to embrace the other meaning, because this word can also mean extraordinary or amazing. A correct sentence would be: I'm special because I light up the room with the energy of my smile and the enthusiasm of my voice. I would strongly urge more people to use it this way and to prevent it in the same way that LGBT terms are used by teenagers who don't want to know better, which would be as a substitute for stupid.
weird, crazy, one-of-a-kind, rare breed, unique, awkward, interesting, etc.- there are many synonyms for these words. I tend to think the person who used these words incorrectly the most out of anyone I knew was my roommate on Lucky Lane (or unlucky lane, depending on who you ask). He never was in a good place and is now in prison, so that is not at all any kind of barometer for behavior. Rather, I use these words the same way my friend (or big sister, depending on who you ask) Amber uses these words, as a good thing to express individualism and enthusiastic extroversion and vocal opinions when they are used with people who want to hear them and light up a coffeeshop just by being there due to his or her pure love for people. I tend not to use these words ableistically, because I'm not like that, rather, I use these words to describe how much of a destitute mans eccentric I am and how much I love being around people. And what's the matter in that?
inspiration: sometimes a loaded word for the community of people with differing abilities. but mostly in comparison to famous people (Temple Grandin, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Cody Marzo, Rube Waddell, etc. for autism, Josh Blue for CP, Vincent Van Goh for depression, Adam Levine and Shane Victorino for ADHD, etc.) as a way of trying to make people lose in comparison and feel bad. That, my friends, is not the point. People like me inspire people by being who they are and that is not inspirational fodder, for lack of a better term. Rather, people who go to college, do leadership, are active, work, are faithful to some kind of community whether social or faith, and can give parents advice are inspirations to those who look up to them and those parents who love them completely and to the friends who like them just the way they are. I get called an inspiration by countless friends on Facebook and countless mentors and people in the field, and it's not because of my autism, ADHD, and depression because even though a lot know, that's not why they call me that. Rather it's because I'm living a full life and am full of joy often enough to offset the bad and I have overcome a lot and am still overcoming and giving it my all. And I totally can own that.
sketchy: kind of self-explanatory for the artists, but this word can mean either to like to draw and do art-type things or it can mean in the way that some of my friends use it to describe me (mostly my ex's ex and his brother, once again, terrible barometers in this context), which is troublesome, dangerous, and wild. I own the art side, because I draw once or twice a week, I scrapbook some, I journal, I take pictures, I do other art projects, and all of this is some kind of art, so, yeah, I am sketchy. But I'm not sketchy in the way that I'm troublesome, dangerous, or wild, I sometimes do extroverted things that could convey that to an outsider, but I'm usually able to control myself.
freak: it can be meant as an insult, like an outsider, which I've unknowingly used it this way before when writing about my experiences as a new Christian (or now as a progressive Christian, I would say making my open declaration of my faith). I've also used it in a similar vein as awkward. I know, I'm not perfect and I will fess up to that. But as Sports Illustrated and my athletic friends and self-advocacy friends can attest, freak can be a good thing. It in a lot of contexts means athletic, unusually gifted in some or many areas, amazing at many kinds of interactions, and overall super fun. For example, I've gotten called freakishly coordinated on many occasions, and given my mid-6' height and my autism/ADHD/depression and my track record for injuries, I would say that's not all the time accurate, but it's accurate enough of the time, and I think of it as a compliment.
So these are some words that can be thought of as ableistic or behavioral if used the wrong way. However, they do not need to be. These words can be used in a great light and in many cases, they are used in wrong contexts. I think as a society, we should be aiming for the right context, if for no other reason than words if used in the wrong way hurt people as a whole and used in the right context can bring a person up tenfold.

What It's Like To Have Autism And Be In College

The thing I'm reminded of recently is how lucky I am to get an education. I have parents that care enough to put me through it and I have support that has loved every single step of the way. That being said, all ten years of college were not as "charmed" as I might have made it seem. I mean, yes, I've had forays into dating, have had quite successful presentations, have won awards, have set some kind of REC record, have had 2 internships, and have been on so many committees and leadership roles that I've had to step back. But that by no means makes it charmed by a traditional measure. And a large reason is the autism. As someone with autism in college, I've had to do things that no person should have to do, like stick up for myself when being called names, have to e-mail professors saying that I actually have autism (and a little bit of ADHD and depression, but autism is a big enough elephant in the room by itself), have to be home for curfew, have to call in saying I'm on my way as a college SENIOR, and face a stigma for myself for something I can't control. I've also had to sit other places of the room to concentrate and have had to face a little bit of discrimination such as violence. It's not the easiest to be a person with autism anyplace and as an out autistic, education is that much tougher. I also have to deal with social education- when I started college, I had to restrain myself from physical touch as a way to avoid the awkward boundary. While that's gotten better, there are still some ways that people have to explain to me that I shouldn't do this or that because it crosses a boundary that should be crossed. While I don't like being explained, when it's explained why, I don't cross that boundary again. I have to admit it, college is great, and while it's been the time of my life- such as all the various accomplishments and activities that I've done that are too varied to name and all the amazing friends I've made, there also is some concessions that have come with that. Things that will happen often but shouldn't happen at a school that has been paid close to 100K for.