Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Let Me Get One Thing Straight
People often times have a hard time realizing who they are and why they are that way. Sometimes people incubate in indecision or confusion for their whole life or for decades before coming to a conclusion that they are a certain way. Sometimes people for fear or whatever never come to the decision. I should know. I incubated for at least 28 1/2 years. The first time I knew that I was in disagreement with the heterosexual norm was when I was in the 6th grade and admitted that I was attracted to a guy on TV. Strange, but from there I ended up dating both men and women (both genders in a serious manner a couple of times at least), found attraction for both (though mostly of the shorter variety, although I dated a few taller people, I find them somewhat intimidating even though I am tall), and made comments about being attracted to male friends. After accepting that I might be bisexual for the last 5 months that I dated my last girlfriend (the most serious one, I seriously considered proposing to her), with nothing to lose I came out 3 months after the break-up. First I came out to my Mom and a few best friends. None where surprised. My friends (well most of them) said that they had known for years and the one who didn't had known for a few months. My Mom had known for quite a while too. The moment when I had an "I think I probably am" was when I was doing a rally for gay rights and started sobbing at the vigil. I also had to come to terms that my sister was going to pride rallies as an ally and I had just started doing rallies and I was sure that something was different. Shortly after that I became more involved in activism. I did everything I could to fly above the radar in work for people of different orientations. I knew that even though I am a bit unusual in my approach, it would work. I have been standing up for those who are gay in numerous ways both at home and in the community. Not that my road has been easy: the people who call me names in the community has gone way up again and I have had to consider the ramifications of what could potentially happen otherwise. People have been accepting overall but I had to leave a faith community for a while when they weren't been accepting and there have been other triggers too. Because of counseling and because of my friends who have stuck up for me all this time, I have genuinely been invested in helping others reach their full potential, straight or not. Along the way there have been several leadership positions open and some sponsors that otherwise might not have been there. It is much easier to be a butterfly in 2014 than 2004. For one thing, it is known about more. People can sometimes still be afraid, but that has been tempered with all the ideas of the news and education. Gay marriage has been in the forefront of debates for years and there has been plenty of education on it. People have gotten past the insipid idea that if gay marriage was allowed, people would be able to marry animals and children. Strange but that was thought to be true when it was first an issue. People are becoming more aware that individuals who they might not expect to be a certain way are and the idea that there is no one right "look or sound" to a gay or bisexual person. I have been bisexual openly for about 2 years. There are people who are bisexual or gay everywhere who aren't open about it, either on Facebook or in reality. There are plenty of professions with gays in them- actors, athletes, activists, musicians, playwrights, writers, politicians, and even accountants. 25% of the world probably is on the gay continuum. For whatever reason, whether fear or something else only 5% choose to be out. I am one of those 5% and proud of it. People are most afraid of what they don't understand and it is this generations opportunity to educate and erase hate.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
5 Myths About Depression And The Contrast
I have depression. I have been struggling pretty heavily with it and have been on Prozac for close to a year. I thought due to the untimely death of Robin Williams, this would be a timely topic to discuss. I had another controversial topic to discuss since it's my two-year anniversary of first declaring this week, but it'll have to wait. Depression myths are more important to debunk. Here are five myths about depression and what I have done to debunk them:
Myth 1: Depression is all about sadness: There are such things as seasonal depression, anger, hypo-mania, racing thoughts, and addiction in depression. I have encountered all of these in the past year in at least small doses. I have also encountered much sadness and have experienced many manic times in some of this spot. These are somewhat linked to my anxiety piece, but understanding that this can be used in many forms of depression helps people understand better that they are not alone. Sadness is just a part of depression and as my families experience can attest to, it is not all of it.
Myth 2: Depression is just a phase: Absolutely not! Once you are diagnosed with clinical depression, depression almost always has a chance of sneaking up again. Even after I was on the antidepressant, there have been times of depression and times of hurt, pain, mania, and implicit anger. Depression doesn't stay once and for all. Once someone is depressed, it can come back again. What you can do when it creeps up is either get help or make a plan. I am generally depressed on my breaks but have been keeping occupied enough this break to combat it. Whether or not I'm able to over my longer winter break remains to be seen, but I have a plan for if it happens because I know it can.
Myth 3: All psychological? No it has much deeper effects. While depression has some medical imbalances, there is much more than what people actually think is going on. Many people with depression see therapists, see people to balance medication, see spiritual counsel, find hobbies, and spend time using a sounding board. This is what I've done. Even more don't realize that they have depression until later, sometimes too late. People with depression can self-medicate and often do so. Depression knows no bounds in who it can effect, and regardless of what anybody tells you, it is a chemical imbalance often or hereditary but certainly not psychological only.
Myth 4: Depression is a lazy condition for loners: People with depression are often social people who have a hard time reacting in some situations or they are semi-social people who sometimes like to reflect. People with depression often are busy to keep their mind occupied or they work through problems with people. Sometimes people with depression are lazy or anti-social, but that isn't always the case. 1 in 20 people deal with clinical depression (maybe more) and all of these people are different. If you meet one person with clinical depression, you've met 1 person and chances are everyone has. If you are depressed temporarily it is different than clinical depression and there are many people with clinical depression who are social to many degrees.
Myth 5: People with depression almost always have a hard time working. This is an unfortunate generalization for the public. Many people with depression have a hard time working but some are able to keep a job that they enjoy and look forward to going to every time. I have held a job for over 7 years with a few heavy-duty volunteer jobs on the side for most of the time. When someone is like: you have continued to work hard, you are almost always happy, you have a lot of energy and genuine interest in people and work and exercise, you don't seem like you have depression, it seems shameful to me because they are marginalizing depression to fit a box. With a condition that has affected roughly 15-20 million people clinically in America alone, you can't just do that. Depression is something that affects everyone differently. Many people can work with it due to medication and therapy while some it's too much of an impact on them to where they can't work and have to stay at home often due to stress. Just like you can't judge a book by it's cover, you can't put a condition as prevalent in a box.
Hope that this cleared up some issues. It is a tough thing to talk about, but if you or a loved one has depression, remember that you and them are not alone. There are at least 15 million Americans with it and no two of them are alike. The results of what happens when you talk about it with them might surprise you and you can make a difference.
Myth 1: Depression is all about sadness: There are such things as seasonal depression, anger, hypo-mania, racing thoughts, and addiction in depression. I have encountered all of these in the past year in at least small doses. I have also encountered much sadness and have experienced many manic times in some of this spot. These are somewhat linked to my anxiety piece, but understanding that this can be used in many forms of depression helps people understand better that they are not alone. Sadness is just a part of depression and as my families experience can attest to, it is not all of it.
Myth 2: Depression is just a phase: Absolutely not! Once you are diagnosed with clinical depression, depression almost always has a chance of sneaking up again. Even after I was on the antidepressant, there have been times of depression and times of hurt, pain, mania, and implicit anger. Depression doesn't stay once and for all. Once someone is depressed, it can come back again. What you can do when it creeps up is either get help or make a plan. I am generally depressed on my breaks but have been keeping occupied enough this break to combat it. Whether or not I'm able to over my longer winter break remains to be seen, but I have a plan for if it happens because I know it can.
Myth 3: All psychological? No it has much deeper effects. While depression has some medical imbalances, there is much more than what people actually think is going on. Many people with depression see therapists, see people to balance medication, see spiritual counsel, find hobbies, and spend time using a sounding board. This is what I've done. Even more don't realize that they have depression until later, sometimes too late. People with depression can self-medicate and often do so. Depression knows no bounds in who it can effect, and regardless of what anybody tells you, it is a chemical imbalance often or hereditary but certainly not psychological only.
Myth 4: Depression is a lazy condition for loners: People with depression are often social people who have a hard time reacting in some situations or they are semi-social people who sometimes like to reflect. People with depression often are busy to keep their mind occupied or they work through problems with people. Sometimes people with depression are lazy or anti-social, but that isn't always the case. 1 in 20 people deal with clinical depression (maybe more) and all of these people are different. If you meet one person with clinical depression, you've met 1 person and chances are everyone has. If you are depressed temporarily it is different than clinical depression and there are many people with clinical depression who are social to many degrees.
Myth 5: People with depression almost always have a hard time working. This is an unfortunate generalization for the public. Many people with depression have a hard time working but some are able to keep a job that they enjoy and look forward to going to every time. I have held a job for over 7 years with a few heavy-duty volunteer jobs on the side for most of the time. When someone is like: you have continued to work hard, you are almost always happy, you have a lot of energy and genuine interest in people and work and exercise, you don't seem like you have depression, it seems shameful to me because they are marginalizing depression to fit a box. With a condition that has affected roughly 15-20 million people clinically in America alone, you can't just do that. Depression is something that affects everyone differently. Many people can work with it due to medication and therapy while some it's too much of an impact on them to where they can't work and have to stay at home often due to stress. Just like you can't judge a book by it's cover, you can't put a condition as prevalent in a box.
Hope that this cleared up some issues. It is a tough thing to talk about, but if you or a loved one has depression, remember that you and them are not alone. There are at least 15 million Americans with it and no two of them are alike. The results of what happens when you talk about it with them might surprise you and you can make a difference.
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