The next few months as I am close to graduation there will be a 3-part prose series on reflection of my time spent at Boise State and then a couple of coming home best Bronco moments and then a letter of sorts to Boise State so a 6-part Boise State moments to celebrate my imminent graduation in the Fall (I should find out in the next couple of weeks if it is a go for sure). This is a prose piece on my education and how I have responded enjoy:
My Education
By I. Jimmy Bott
The obstacles to overcome to be a stellar student with autism are many
and there are many more to conquer things people who aren't autistic
don't even think about like getting through social situations, boundaries,
feeling able to be excited about some or any social opportunities
and trying to conquer test-taking and there is also the unique challenge
I have that so many don't have to face: competing in non-collegiate sports during
the semester I mean I might graduate with honors in my major and the reality of it
is that even though I am a part-time student my time hasn't been easy the roommates
that were so bad and traumatic that I have some Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
about going home and I did until I was living alone in some aspects
pain from my Dad even though he's better and the last incident that was huge I almost called the cops
there is so much pent-up relationship drama of being used that I have been reluctant to get into
another relationship even though some women and men are absolutely phenomenal
and some people deserve someone as kind as I am
there are some scars that are not invisible- the broken-finger incident, the head scar that has been
re-damaged, the scar on my ankle from when it got slightly torn all certain to stay for a while
the emotional scars from profs that almost made me quit altogether only saved by Bob Hamilton and my Grandma on my Mom's side- I have persevered and gotten A's and B's since my Grandma's death and am still volunteering a lot and honoring her memory that way
the real pain of christians being hurtful that makes any non-Presbyterian church fraught with anxiety when I'm there because I'm an androgynous-dude with anxiety and even though I don't show it as well there are some people that were so hurtful that I was somewhat suicidal the remaining saps of my open relationship with basketball and softball finally being run dry as it leaves forever friends turning my back on me for being bisexual and even more people I don't know thinking I'm gay just because I'm sensitive and androgynous and somewhat feminine in how I talk
I mean I could probably benefit from so much therapy from all this abuse that Lord willing be with me until my therapist retires or I move whichever comes first I don't understand how I can have so much compassion after so many people have disappointed me during this education experience I guess it is because I am still loving as all get out and I believe that human beings are good at heart I have to not let other insecure people drag me down and have to stay positive because a lot has gone right and that's in the next part to be typed next month for this college experience part 2 (to be continued)
