Seeing The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Or Not)

I want to be clear: I have dealt with depression for a long time on and off (about 17 years old when I was first dealing with it) and I have dealt with it in good and bad times, in spurts, in highs and lows, and in ways that were so off that I couldn't shake it and thought I couldn't be happy ever again. This is where I was at a month ago to a month and a half ago and there were plenty of events that triggered it. Ultimately the way I knew I was stuck was that no matter what I did (even being with friends or exercising, both which I love), I couldn't shake it. My well-being was so off that I had the support of friends to get me to where I am right now. I am at the point of working myself through this. It is definitely not at all easy, especially when you are balancing school and three jobs (self-direction, self-advocacy, and being a clerk at the front end of a grocery store) and have taken on more hours at all of them. Most telling though, I felt like I wanted to disconnect for a week, which never happens. Once that week was over, I got myself back in the saddle and slowly riding again. It felt better to do things in a way that I am slowly understanding why. The successes have become more magnified and have become bigger and my life is slowly back in order. I have had support with my family and friends looking out for me. Am I out of the woods? Not exactly. Should some of you be concerned? Maybe. Should I get out of it? Definitely. Nothing is forever except unconditional love. And I feel stronger every day because of my support system and I feel like I can maybe, just maybe, understand things more and see a clearer lens. And most importantly: I know I'm not alone.